with peace Amesbury, MA

// What We Know Today//

Hi Dad,

What a whirlwind it’s been since your birthday. I have been thinking of you so much lately and wanting to call. I could really use your strength right now. I saw two cardinals as I was leaving the house to come visit mom in the hospital and took that as a sign that you’re with me today. Thanks for that. 

Here’s what we know today about mom: We have seen several different doctors, and information is still coming in.  What we know is that there are multiple tumors  throughout her brain. The doctors presume that these are from her breast cancer; that can’t be confirmed until they test the actual tumors. There is one 6cm tumor, oblong shaped and above and behind her left ear. They also mentioned a dime sized tumor on the front of her right side. There are several tumors in the front of her head, above and near her forehead.

There is a team of oncologists and neurologists working together to formulate a plan. Her MRI yesterday morning revealed the above information about the tumors. The bigger tumor will be surgically removed next Thursday. The team of doctors believe that is what is causing the symptoms. 

She, like everyone else, is quite shaken (rightfully so). The confusion comes and goes….yesterday I was 67 years old (don’t you think I look pretty good for my age?!) Her brain signals to her arms and legs are gone. She has little/none control over her legs. She can’t seem to figure out how to use them. She has some control of her right arm and hand, but needs help with eating and drinking, as the same effect as what’s happened to her legs is happening to her arm. Overall she is very exhausted and uncomfortable.

It feels good to get that off my chest, and a reminder of her daily progression. Things are happening very fast. I continuously am reminding myself that, like everything in nature, life isn’t about the survival of the fittest or fastest. It is those that are the most adaptable that thrive. The ability to change and grow and learn in the face of a new environment and new challenges is the key to survival. The ability to change. This is how to meet the challenge of cancer and illness.  Healing is about adapting strategically to change. This is a key to thriving longterm. 

I miss you always. 

Love, love, love and so much gratitude for everything right now. xo

// Connections.//

There comes a time during the day, week or month where you cross paths with someone - perhaps someone new to your life, or not - and an instant connection is made. Despite a generation gapping two individuals, a connection is made. 

Sometimes you meet someone and for inexplicable reasons, you connect to one another. 

I think I’m turning into the crazy cat lady.

I think I’m turning into the crazy cat lady.

// Today’s thought. //

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Good morning, Newburyport.

Good morning, Newburyport.

Missing you, Daddy, each and every day.